Is Your Girl Lying? How to Become a Human Lie Detector

Girl lying on the phone

First off, let me say that you should never put up with a girl lying habitually.  One of the most frustrating dating experiences I’ve ever had was with a woman who was a compulsive liar.  Fortunately, I caught on quickly and didn’t put much stock into our “relationship.”  But if I hadn’t been paying attention, I could have gotten screwed big time.  I’m going to tell you about the tricks I used to expose her lies and see right through her.

Knowing how to spot a girl lying really saved me with this one.  She was taking me for a ride – and if I had gotten caught up with her I’m sure it would have been much worse.  But I figured out what she was up to, and because of that I was able to observe the situation from a safe distance.  Emotionally speaking.  I had a perspective that I could only get by being emotionally detached from her.

I didn’t let this game drag on for too long – I’m just not into that.  But I did watch her do her thing for a little while, and I learned a lot in the process.  Let me tell you, fellas… This girl had some serious truth issues.

Dating a Dishonest Woman

From day one, this girl was shady.  She misrepresented herself and her situation at every turn.  By the time I got fed up and decided to quit wasting my time, I literally did not believe a single word that fell out of this girl’s mouth.

Simple questions, like “Do you like this band?”  Or, “What is your favorite scifi movie?”  Whatever she said, it was probably B.S.  If I asked her, “How did your day go?” I fully expected her to make something up, rather than actually let me know how her day went.  Tricksy.

I was listening to this girl lying all the time.  To tell you the truth, it became a bit of a game for me.  I would ask her questions just to hear her bullshit response – and then use the techniques below to prove that she was lying.  And she was always lying.

Lying was like second nature for this girl.  I was hooking up with her for a few months, and I’m not sure I know a single factual thing about her background, her history, her preferences… no telling.  And to top it all off, after I broke things off I came to find out that she had actually been living with another dude the whole time we were hooking up.  Tricksy.

How to Tell if a Story is Made Up

Like I said, this girl made up stories all the time.  If you suspect that a story is made up, one easy way to know for sure is to throw out a made up detail about the place, people, or time of the story… and then watch for her response.

You might use this if you think she’s making up a story about what she did last night, or if she’s talking about something from her past.  Here’s an example:

You: What did you do last night?
Her: I went out with Sarah and Jessica.  We went to Star Bar.  It was lame.
You: Oh, I heard that Star Bar was closed for renovations.  (This is your made up detail – completely fictional.)

If she’s telling the truth, she won’t miss a beat. As soon as you suggest that Star Bar is closed, she’ll correct you without hesitation.  If she’s lying, she will take a long pause to think about her answer.  If she isn’t 100% positive whether it is closed for renovations – she was definitely not there last night.

You can do the same thing with a story from her past.  If she says something like, “My friend and I went to Costa Rica last year…”  You say something like, “Oh, did you have to get that special vaccine that Costa Rica requires?”  If she has been to Costa Rica, she’ll correct you immediately and say, “Nope, no vaccinations are required.”  If she hasn’t been to Costa Rica, she’ll delay and think about it while she decides how to answer.

How to spot a girl lying without asking her.

How to Catch a Girl Lying About What She Did

Sometimes you just can’t confront someone directly – even if you strongly suspect that they’re lying about something.  Say, for instance, that a girl tell you you’re the only one she’s sleeping with – but you suspect she’s sleeping with someone else.  If you confront her directly you will come across as being jealous, controlling, or insecure.

But you can test the waters without tipping your hand – and 9 out of 10 times a girl lying will give you the answer you’re looking for without even knowing that you asked.  Here’s how it’s done…

You need to create a parallel scenario.  So, in the example above, you might use some other girl who is in an exclusive relationship with some other guy.  Bring it up in casual conversation and say something like, “I heard Jane is sleeping with Tim and Kevin doesn’t know about it.”

If she’s clean, she will act completely normal.  She’ll take part in the conversation with you and she won’t internalize the question at all.  If she’s not – she will be defensive.  When you catch on to a girl lying she can be very, very defensive about it.  She will act like she’s being interrogated, even though you haven’t said a word about her.

Either way, you can change the subject and move on.  But, you will have gotten a truthful answer from her without ever even asking her a question. You didn’t even give her the opportunity to lie.

More Advice About Attraction and Dating:

Leave the Liars Behind

While these tricks do work to expose a girl lying, you should only use them as much as necessary.  As soon as you suspect that a girl is habitually lying, the best thing to do is move on.  Right away.  Take it from me.

In my story above about the compulsive liar, I stuck around much longer than I should have. It doesn’t take a detective to figure out why… she was painfully hot. But, in retrospect, if I knew then what I know now, I would have peaced her out much sooner and stopped wasting my valuable time.

Matthew Clark

Matt Clark loves football, live music, and the beautiful girls of Austin, TX. After spending a decade of his life in a tiny gray cubicle, he set out on his own as an entrepreneur and a marketing consultant. These days he can be found out and about, working in whichever coffee shop or courtyard catches his eye. Some of his favorite spots are Jo's, Caffe Medici, and Strange Brew.