How to Keep a Conversation Going on Any Date

Keep a conversation going with ease

You played it smooth so far.  You got her number and got a date with her.  Now you showed up looking good and feeling good, with a confident smile on your face.  She looks amazing.  She’s smiling, and she’s already reaching out to touch your arm – a great signal.  Now comes the hard part…  You have to keep a conversation going for the next few hours.  And, let’s face it, this girl is basically a total stranger. 

There is a small chance that the conversation will flow effortlessly.  Maybe she’s a gamer and she loves your favorite team.  Probably not.  There’s a much better chance that you need to have some skills in your pocket to keep a conversation going.  If you pull it off like a pro, she will have a great time.  And she will definitely want to see you again.

How to Kick Start a Conversation with Ease

I won’t spend too much time on this one, because you can find everything you need to know in this post about first dates.  What you need to know is that open-ended questions are conversation gold.

Learning to use open-ended questions puts you in the driver’s seat.  There’s no need to fish around for something to talk about.  Ask her a handful of open-ended questions and then sit back and take your pick of topics.  (Hint: pick topics that keep things focused on her and her preferences.  If she opens up about anything emotional or sexual… pounce on it!)

Forget about memorizing questions that you want to ask her.  You will fall flat on your face, and she will be bored by the flat conversation.  A few open-ended questions will get things flowing easily and naturally.  There’s no better conversation starter.

Keep a Conversation Going – on Any Date with Any Girl

The trick to keep a conversation going with ease is called “active listening.”  If you don’t already know what that is, this is going to make a huge difference for you.  Active listening can make any conversation flow with ease.  And when you use this trick along with open-ended questions… there’s basically nothing left to learn.  These two tools make conversations flow with ease – no matter how hot the girl sitting across the table is.

In a nutshell, active listening basically means that you listen to what your partner is saying… and then say it back to them.  It’s not quite that simple, but it’s close.  There are a few common mistakes you need to watch out for.  We will take a look at those below.  But first let’s look at some examples to illustrate how this works.

Keep a conversation going on any date

Rescue any Flat Conversation

Let’s say that you’re on a date with a girl, and at first it seems like you don’t have a whole lot in common with her.  She is responding to your open-ended questions, but her answers are flat and you’re struggling to keep her talking.  Here’s a start:

You: So, you’re a blogger – that’s cool.  How did you get into that?  (Open-ended question)
Girl: Well, I haven’t been doing it for very long.  My friend had a blog, so I just started doing it too.
You: How do you pick what you’re going to write about?  (Open-ended question)
Girl: I don’t know, I just write about whatever I see.

Struggling.  She’s not giving you anything to work with.

You could keep the questions coming, but you risk making things akward.  Too many questions in a row and she’ll feel like she’s being interrogated.  She definitely won’t feel like she’s having fun.

You could jump in and try to rescue the conversation by throwing out a topic you like to talk about.  But that’s completely hit-or-miss.  And if you miss a few times in a row, she’ll start to feel like she’s stuck in a really bad conversation.  Or worse, she’ll start to feel like she’s stuck on a really bad date.

Use Active Listening to Keep a Conversation Going

You can rescue this sinking ship at any time with active listening.  All you have to do is listen to her, process what she said, and then say it back to her.  Check it out:

You: So, you’re a blogger – that’s cool.  How did you get into that?  (Open-ended question)
Girl: Well, I haven’t been doing it for very long.  My friend had a blog, so I just started doing it too.
You: How do you pick what you’re going to write about?  (Open-ended question)
Girl: I don’t know, I just write about whatever I see.
You: Oh, so you just write about the things that you see at school or at work everyday.  (Active listening)
Girl: Yeah, just random things that I think are funny or interesting or whatever.
You: You write about funny stuff, like if something funny happened to you at work.  (Active listening)
Girl: Yeah, like the other day I got this random letter in the mail and it had an application for a company credit card, but I’m not even supposed to have a company card… … …

You finally broke through and got her to start talking about something personal.  All you had to do was listen to what she was saying, and then repeat it back to her.  Now she’s telling stories about herself.  And when she is talking about herself, she is always having a good time.

Just watch out for these mistakes that beginners usually make.

More Advice About Attraction and Dating:

Rookie Mistakes for Active Listening

First, don’t repeat exactly what she said.  You have to pay attention, process what she said, and then say it back to her in your own words.  If you just repeat her words exactly, you’ll creep her out.

Next, stop active listening if she starts talking about anything negative.  This tactic is great for chit chat and banter, but part of your goal is to keep things as positive and fun as possible.  If she starts talking about something negative – change gears.  Use open-ended questions to lead her back to a more positive topic that makes her feel good.

It’s just that easy.  Does it seem too simple to be true?  Try it.  You won’t believe how well this works.  With open-ended questions and active listening, you can keep a conversation going all night long.

Matthew Clark

Matt Clark loves football, live music, and the beautiful girls of Austin, TX. After spending a decade of his life in a tiny gray cubicle, he set out on his own as an entrepreneur and a marketing consultant. These days he can be found out and about, working in whichever coffee shop or courtyard catches his eye. Some of his favorite spots are Jo's, Caffe Medici, and Strange Brew.